Saturday, April 7, 2012

Chronicles of Lumbar Discectomy

ring ring ring

"Good afternoon this is the Radiology Department, DG speaking, how may I help you?"

"Hello there! We need a C-Arm in room 3 please"

Hahahah you can't escape me bitch!

"Alright I'll be on my way"

*goes to the OR, gets changed and stuff*

"Huh? Were is BIGASS C-Arm...?"

"Oh hey DG, Dr.Niceguy already got the C-Arm in place, he is just waiting for you"

"Oh praise the lords and heavens!!"

Yes...enter Dr.Niceguy. He is young orthopedist who specializes in spinal surgery and one of the nicest, most sweetest doctor I had ever met in my short life as a technologist. Seriously...he is so sweet I bet it all that you can get Diabetes just by being with him one full day....

Dr.Niceguy- Hi DG! Oh thank goodness it's you! Come on I need to explain how I want the C-Arm to be placed.

That is what he normally says when I enter the room, you just want to pinch his cheeks so badly. Sometimes these operations can last really long hours depending on the location, so we just stand there looking at...nothing. We usually tell jokes and talk about random crap, hell one time when he was taking out some of the ruptured disks from the patient and he looked at me and started to show me the stuff.

Dr.Niceguy- See this? This is how a disk kind of resembles jelly, all squishy and stuff.

GOD I want to give him a hug so badly...

But of course we all know that this is just too good to be true. Enter his surgical tech...some god awful woman who  I am pretty sure HATES her job, seeing as she just scoffs at everyone she lays her eyes on.

 See I understand the importance of her job and looking around to see that people don't get too close to the sterile environment, but YELLING at me on how I needed to be careful not to touch the sterile blue material like I was some ignorant fool isn't gonna score her points in getting friends...

Seriously sweetheart. I didn't study this shit under a rock, I KNOW that all the crap around you and pretty boy doctor is sterile, I KNOW I can't touch it, I KNOW how to keep my distance, so please lay off the unnecessary comments, and the unnecessary glaring because frankly it isn't getting you anywhere with me...oh and please pay attention to the surgeon who is clearly angry at how you just dropped 2 of his STERILE instruments on the floor.


Have a nice day =)

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